I Am Hiding Inside

I am anger,
Building and pushing,
Growing and feeding.
Like the rise of the strings in a symphony,
I build and build,
Growing greater and stronger;
Expanding, exploring.

I am like a pet,
Always begging for food.
A sick pet,
That only feeds on fear, hate and self-inflicted pain.
And you feed me,
Because you have no other choice.

Sometimes I fade into the background,
But I am never really gone.
All it takes is one little thing to go wrong,
And I come back with a vengeance
Rushing out of the darkness,
Faster and stronger every time.
I get harder and harder to push away.
You fight, I resist.

There is no stopping me.
I will continue to grow,
To feed on your frustration, disappointment and
Self hatred.
Every lie you have told,
Every mistake you have ever made, it fuels me.
So I grow, and grow,
Until I explode.

Then you yell,
And throw things,
And get into fights.
You take it out on someone innocent,
You blame them for all that is wrong in your life.

And then it hits you.
Every angry word,
Every broken dish, stabs like a knife,
Cutting all the way through to your soul.
And you fall apart,
You shatter like broken glass.
I flow right out of your system,
Warm and salty down your cheeks.
I evaporate with your tears,
Leaving you alone,
Until something else goes terribly wrong.

Nothing you do can help you escape.
We are intertwined together,
Always forced to be together.
One cannot live without the other.
I will always be there feeding, you will continue breaking.
We are stuck in this sick, never ending game,
Of fear and hate and self inflicted pain.